How to Be “Yourself” Online
Who are “you?” Who am “I?” What is even happening? (spiralling)
Hi Cringers,
You've probably heard the advice to be “authentic,” use your “real voice,” and “just be yourself" when writing online, but what does that even mean?
Does “real” mean writing like you would to a close friend? Does “authentic” mean sharing your unfiltered stream of consciousness on LinkedIn at 1 AM?
This week, we’re exploring the slippery topic of being “yourself” online, what it means, why it matters, and how you can develop your voice to be more...you-y.
Let’s get into it:
What Is Your “Authentic” Voice, Anyway?
One of my favorite quotes about finding your “authentic” voice comes from organizational psychologist and bestselling author Adam Grant:
“Authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world.”
In other words, if you want to be real online, “Mind the gap.”
The best way to do this is to take time to self-reflect:
What do you care about?
How do you process information?
How do your life experiences affect your viewpoint?
Does your way of thinking match how you present yourself online?
Still need help? Try this 5-minute exercise:
Sit down and write your stream of consciousness about something you love for five minutes. It could be anything, your favorite sport, your kid, your favorite color, your favorite dish, etc. Don’t censor yourself.
When time is up, look at what you wrote and notice your language and thought patterns. What do you notice? How does your stream of consciousness match or deviate from how you write online?
As the author of Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon says:
“The only way to find your voice is to use it. It’s hardwired, built into you. Talk about the things you love. Your voice will follow.”
Why It Pays to Keep It Real
Authenticity is your most powerful form of social currency, meaning people are more likely to value the information you share when they trust you’re being real.
This is true of personal brands and company brands. Ascendia, an international e-commerce and mail delivery service, recently surveyed 1,000 American consumers and found that seven out of ten (70%) American shoppers said authenticity made them more loyal to brands, with a further 70% saying they would switch to a competitor if they felt a retailer wasn’t authentic.
It’s not only content creators and brands who are starting to take authenticity seriously, but also entire social platforms, like BeReal, or “authentic Instagram,” which has over 33 million active users (as of March 2023).
Filters are out, realness is in. And now with the rise of AI-generated content, your messy, weird self is a competitive advantage, so use it!
Establish Limits for How Real You Want to Get
Before getting too real on the World Wide Web, it’s important to set some boundaries.
How “authentic” do you want to be? Do you really want to share the intimate details of your recent food poisoning episode? Probs not.
Keeping it 100% might not be the best option for some people. This will all depend on your personality, audience, platform, and risk tolerance.
Think about topics you’re not willing to talk about or language you don’t want to use and write it down.
Just like companies have brand guidelines, it’s helpful to develop your own set of brand guidelines for interacting online.
You don’t need to spill your heart and soul online to be “authentic.” The most important thing is to speak in a way that feels true to who you are and to share stories that add value to your audience.
That’s as “real” as you need to get.
More Exercises for Self-Exploration:
2. Identify 3 adjectives from this list that describe your voice
3. Find and read a piece of writing that sounds most like you. What about it makes it sound like you? Why?
Until next week, Cringers! Hope you find yourselves. Can’t wait to hear what you sound like!