LinkedIn Cliques Tour

Meet the cliques of LinkedIn.

Hi Cringers,

Remember that scene in Mean Girls where Janis gives Cady (played by Lindsay Lohan) a cafeteria cliques tour? This week, I’m giving you a tour of the virtual LinkedIn cafeteria.

Imagine LinkedIn is school, you're the new kid, and I'm the jaded bookish goth who has spent an unhealthy number of hours observing the social dynamics of the "world's largest professional network.”

Do you hear that? That's the lunch bell. Grab your knapsack, and let's go!

Over here, blocking the entrance to the cafeteria is an:

Engagement Pod - Troublemakers

When you first start posting on LinkedIn, you'll likely encounter what's known as "engagement pods." 

These are self-selecting groups of people who promise to engage with your LinkedIn posts in exchange for engaging with theirs. They'll likely work in an unrelated field to yours, so you'll wonder why they want to interact at all. 

Their aim is to game the LinkedIn algorithm and boost one another's visibility. It will be tempting to join one if you want to grow on LinkedIn quickly. After all, you're the new kid. No one likes your stuff. A few likes here and there from some friendly strangers can't hurt, right? Just a taste, eh?

And you know what, you do you. I won't tell you how to live your life. Personally, I don't have an issue with it (and I think people naturally form groups and like each other’s stuff anyway), but LinkedIn is starting to crack down on "engagement pods," so beware! Because if you fall into the wrong crowd, you might get expelled...

Let's keep moving. 

We're now in the cafeteria. Smell those tater tots, take in the fluorescent lights, and listen to the screeching of metal chairs against the linoleum. Lovely, isn't it?

Oh, that group over there? The ones bathed in incomprehensible golden light? Those are the popular kids:

LinkedIn Royalty - The Popular Kids

I won’t name names, but if you know, you know. These are the creators with hundreds of thousands of followers. 

They talk about how amazing it is to be popular and frequently share lists of the other popular kids so nobody, heaven forbids, forgets who's popular.

They could post anything, literally anything, a smiley emoji, a single exclamation mark, complete nonsense—it doesn't matter, they have hundreds of adoring followers who will engage with their content right away.

I’m not jealous—you’re jealous.

Let's go over here. 

Oh, those holograms floating above the lunch table? Those are:

AI Bots - Techies

Look at their faces. Do they seem a little too flawless? A little cartoonish? And their posts? Do they sound like ChatGPT wrote them?

We could ask them if they're bots, but that feels rude, doesn’t it?

/imagine we're planes and let's jet! (cringing)

Watch your head! You almost got hit by an automated football. It's the:

AI Bros - The Jocks

This clique has grown a lot in the last year! They're almost half the cafeteria!

These guys are Four-Loco-level excited by the latest AI technology and will happily share their “AI tech stack” with you without you asking for it in the form of a twenty-part LinkedIn carousel.

They sometimes overlap with the LinkedIn Growth Hackers who know all the secrets about how to 100x your LinkedIn followers overnight. All you have to do is buy their $99 ebook.

My allowance doesn't come in until next Friday, so let's keep walking. 

Ugh, there's:

That Friendly Connection Who Wants to Sell You Something - Frenemy

You accepted a connection request from her last week, had a nice exchange—the weather, where you’re from, your hopes and dreams., etc., then, BAM!, the sales pitch. 

You thought she cared about your time volunteering at the animal shelter, but it turns out she just wanted to sell you her coaching service on building a coaching service.

[Bell rings]

I guess the tour is over...oh, and before I leave you, remember there are also:

Genuinely Nice, Caring People - Your Friends

They exist too! I’ve connected with a number of them. They are smart, motivated, and kind people who go out of their way to share their knowledge and support. 

If you're reading this newsletter, you're likely one of them, so thank you for restoring my faith in social networking!

No matter what clique you fall into, you'll find your crowd. Put yourself out there and see who you meet. 

If you need any help getting started, you know where to find me. 

Until next week, Cringers!