The Chase

Don't do it.

Hi Cringers,

If you’re like me, you probably spent your early years chasing opportunities.

After all, that’s what most of us are primed to do. We’re taught to chase good grades, chase jobs, and generally chase approval from others.

So, that’s what I did.

I spent much of my childhood and early adulthood chasing opportunities and people who weren't meant for me.

I wasted years in jobs and relationships where I was barely tolerated.

The longer I stayed in those situations, the more it chipped away at my self-esteem.

I was basing my self-worth on external factors. If only I achieve X I’ll be happy. If only I work harder/act better I’ll make it.

You know what this was a recipe for? Burnout. Because when you surround yourself with people who don’t see your value, you lose.

When people and situations are meant for you, it won’t feel like work.

This is true in relationships and business.

In my mid-20s, I left a bad relationship in NYC for the Peace Corps in Namibia.

On a dune in Namibia looking for sandworms

I had completely sworn off dating at that point. Little did I know I would be placed in the same town as my now-husband.

Being with him felt easy, natural, and fun from the start. Unlike my last relationship, I didn’t feel I had to walk on eggshells or work for his attention.

Sure, some of this might be luck or circumstances, or whatever else, but part of it was I had started focusing on myself at that point.

By choosing myself, I started attracting people who valued me.

He’s a keeper.

I had started to make decisions based on what I wanted, not what I thought would please others.

The same rule applies to work: Often chasing and bending over backwards for companies or clients won’t get you where you want to go.

If you want to build your reputation and attract clients you enjoy working with, stop focusing on what you think others want to hear, what’s working for others in your industry, etc.

Instead, focus on sharing your beliefs, values, and story. That’s what others will relate to and what will help you find your unique path, niche, etc.

Opportunities will come when you can confidently communicate who you are, what you believe in, and how you can help versus getting caught up in formulas, templates, and personas.

Stop chasing what you think others want and focus instead on who you are and what you can offer.

Until next time,

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